Beauty

I can’t deny that I want it, don’t we all? It is slightly a sore spot for me. I am finding it’s a sore spot of many ladies. There are precious few of us who like what they see staring back at them in the mirror.

About 18 months ago I finally, truly, decided that I did like my face. I could live with it. Before my main complaint was a long nose and hair the color of….well frankly, even to today I’m not sure what color it is. Odd brown? dirtier than dirty blond? Does it matter? It did. But finally it really didn’t. I realized I’d miss my face. When God created and formed me He didn’t do it in a dark room just to find He made some horrible mistake as soon as He turned on the light. He choose this for me -not as punishment but as a gift. He calls me wonderful. And complaining about it was…..conceited, to put it lightly. I can even remember where I was when this truth finally penatrated to my heart. I was in the laundryroom, pulling clothes out of the dryer one by one and folding them. I suddenly thought, I actually wouldn’t change how God made me. I was born this way for a reason. I’m perfectly content to be a plain Jane…plain Jane’s have a special type of beauty after all… But the stinger was the thought that came next.

But God did not make me with acne. That’s not supposed to be there.

I can honestly say that for half my life I have struggled with acne. For 11 years it’s been there. And believe me when I say that I’ve heard 11 years worth of remedies. Not that I mind it, though it does weary me to an extent. I feel like I’ve heard it all. “Wash your face more” “Don’t eat this” “Eat that”  “Use this pill”  “Be more confident. It’s a sign of self-loathing.” “Try this topical medicine” “Wear make-up” “Arrive there spiritually -your face is a mirror of your soul”, etc. That last one is particularly irksome. If you are one of those people who believe that, do me a favor by sticking your face into a beehive and then I will admit your face reflects your soul…Ok, be nice and scratch that out. I’ve actually haven’t heard many mean comments about my face…there’s the occasional curious kid who says “What’s that?”. But how were they to know that’s a taboo subject? I lived in hope of the day that my rocky teenage years would end, subsequently ending my acne worries.

In my mind’s eye I would be writing a post about the struggle, ending on the dream cure. In reality I write about the struggle and end with what I now know about beauty. I hit 20 a few years ago and it hasn’t gone anywhere. There’s a temptation to be hurt and bitter. A young woman, by right, is supposed to bloom, not wilt. She’s supposed to enjoy her beauty before it fades away into her gray years. Why was I cheated out of that?
I know that I was not “cheated” out of anything. Though it’s still a hard pill to swallow.

They say that beauty is on the inside, right? And it’s true. But it doesn’t bring much satisfaction to a gal sitting outside.

“For the Lord takes pleasure in His people;
He will beautify the afflicted ones with salvation.”
Psalm 149:4

So what, you get saved and suddenly POOF! you’re pretty? No, my beauty is my salvation. This is what makes me beautiful, even if not seen with physical eyes. 
I’ve done a lot of studying about beauty. But all the verses about God’s beauty, our beauty, and what beauty is (good, eternal vs temporal), were completely knocked out of the arena when I read a simple passage that didn’t even refer to beauty. It refered to a Savior yet to be born.

“For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot, And like a root out of parched ground;
He has no stately form or majesty That we should look upon Him,
Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him.
Isaiah 53:3

Paul’s words came back to me, “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.“

This is not saying that if you have good looks your not imitating Christ. It’s to say that how you look doesn’t necessarily correlate with where you are spiritually (how we present ourselves is, however.). It’s to say that beauty is one thing, but physical appearance is another. Yes, I do want healthy skin. Yes, I do work towards it. Yes, I do dislike the fact that I’ve worn acne on my face every single day for 11 years of my life. But when all is said and done, I guess it just makes me look a little more like my Savior.
I can live with that.

The real question is:
Will I wait until my acne disappears to be beautiful?




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